Monday, April 5, 2010

A Tale of Two Tickets

Read the following two stories. One having a SAD ending and the other one with a HAPPY one. These stories contain so many emotions that they can be made into an awesome Bollywood potboiler. Curious?? Read on...

Story - 1

Driving can be fun. Driving can be exhilarating. Driving can give you an ultimate thrill. Driving is known to bring out sides in people which they didn't know existed. Whizzing past the traffic, leaving all the cars behind, driving at speeds which makes everything else seem stationary is something that every driver yearns for. All this is great until a cop stops you by jumping in front of your car like someone's shaking you and waking you up from a beautiful dream, and saying, "dude welcome back to earth"!!!

That's exactly what happened with me a couple of weeks ago. NO i am not a traffic cop and I dont even go about jumping in front of fast cars just to get the kicks out of it. I am a law abiding citizen of this country who sticks by all the laws only to break a few of them when I have to reach office on time.

Well yeah, it was a lazy Saturday morning I was rolling on my bed when it struck me that I work 6 days a week. A frenzied 15 minutes later I was still groggy eyed but ready to leave for office. Everything seemed to be the same as it had been for every single day for past 8 months. Only thing that was different was there were so many traffic cops on the road it seemed that the whole of the police station had decided to come out for a stroll. I was driving at my usual speed (or maybe less.. 68KMPH to be precise) and there jumped a man wearing White and Blue in front of my car. Thank god my old warhorse of a car has decent brakes else it would've been the last thing that cop did. Escorting me to the side of the road he politely asked me to get off. And here is the conversation:

Cop : Gaadi side me laga lo aur license nikalo. Aap speed kar rahe they.
Me (handing him the license) : #@$%!! Whatever that means!! (Speed kar rahe they???)
Cop: Challan katega. 400 ka. Insurance dikhao..
Me: (realising that insurance papers are missing.. In a sweet voice) : Kya baat hai? Aaj itne policewale ek saath??
Cop (giving me the topic-mat-change-karo look) : 400 Rs.
Me: Handing over the money and taking the receipt and dissappearing in a flash (doing more than 68KMPH)

Phew!! There comes the first blemish on the clean driving slate of mine. One mark in 10 years of driving is still pretty good I guess.



Story - 2

It seemed it was a day to break all land speed records. A day where I could've given Micheal Schumacher a run for his money on Indian roads on a bike. The usual 60-70 minutes of office to home distance took me just 35 minutes. Why was I in such a hurry?? I was going to cheer for my Delhi IPL Team at Ferozshah Kotla.

Reaching home I didnt even have time to bask in the glory. I had another lap to cover. Changed into casuals and I was off again. I still had a good 2 hours before the match but the friend I was watching the match with, insisted on reaching the stadium one day before the match ;). Oh yes, the cop story again.

Cops have a certain liking for guys on 2 wheelers. I think they have a 2 wheeler fetish. If you have been stopped by Cops and even if you have all the papers in place, you GOT TO pay. If you are really low on luck, you may even be fined for not carrying your Ration Card, Credit Card statements, Birth Certificate and maybe even Marriage Certificate (this applies even to bachelors).

In my quest to reach the stadium on time (which was way before time actually), I jumped a red-light and voila there was a cop. And here is what went between us,

Cop: Red light jump ki hai aapne. Dangerous driving + Red light jumping ka challan katega. 1100 Rs.
Me: Arey Dilli police hoke mujhe rok rahe ho. Main Dilli ka match dekhne jaa raha hoon. Aap chahte nahi ho ki Dilli jeete?
Cop (smiling) : Haan isliye to bol raha hoon, jaldi 1100 Rs do aur jao.
Me: Dekh lo aur kuch ho sakta ho to. (9 out of 10 times bribing works)
Cop: Aap batao kitna doge?
Me: Mere paas 550 bucks hai. 500 ki match ki ticket hai, aage ka aap dekh lo.
Cop: Itna mehenga ticket!!! Ghar pe kyun nahi dekhte?
Me: Stadium mein dekhne ka mazaa hi kuch aur hai.
Cop: Lao 50 Rs lao aur jaldi jao, match start hone wala hoga.
Me (sporting a sad expression) : 500 Rs ticket ke hai and 50 Rs mere khane ke. Aapne woh le liye, ab main kya khaoonga :(
Cop: Arey aisi baat mat karo. Aur yeh lo - Hands me a 100 Rs note :D

Some Traffic Cops also have a heart and I got to experience it first hand that day. I probably am the first one to take money from a cop.

And this my dear friends was A Tale of Two Tickets...