I am the New Kid on the block!!

Hi there, 

 I came into this world on 6th December 2014 at 10:45 AM. I was crying as hell and I wonder what everyone in the room were so happy about. I also heard sounds of "Push, Push, Push..." I was like, huh! they already want me to work?? It seems they were not asking me to push after all. There was this beautiful lady in the room who I believe was not looking her best and it was as if her eyes were trying to express a thousand things at once. As she saw me, her cheeks were lined with beautiful little tears of pearls. It was joy, relief, pride, tiredness and satisfaction all rolled into one. Such was her effect on me I immediately felt as if I was in the right place, but I cried anyway because I guess that's what we new-born are supposed to do. More on her as we go on.

It felt weird breathing for the first time. The air seems to be heavier outside. As I stopped to look around, those weird happy people picked me up and threw clothes over me. They cleaned me and took me outside. It was then I met a handsome guy who was all smiles. As he came closer and picked me up, I noticed a glint in his eyes and I know those were tears. Something tells me that this guy and the lady I mentioned earlier are going to be my most favourite people in the world. 

Soon I was surrounded by both sets of grandparents and both of my cute aunts, I am sure these are the ones who are going to pamper me as I grow.

Within the next 15 minutes there was so much frenzy around, these relatives of mine started putting their hands to their ears and started speaking to invisible people and thanking them. I wonder how they were doing it. I guess it is going to take some time for me to come to terms with this world.

Anyway, I am just happy soaking in all the attention and adulation. I took some time out to update this dormant blog that my dad used to maintain. Did you notice the new look & feel? I did it :D, not bad for a first timer isn’t it? Oh and I also wanted to change Kartik's Korner to Kartik's Kid's Korner :P. Now that I have taken over the reins from him, I will try and update this blog as and when the time permits.

Until then,

Happy Living!!

Signing off, 

New Kid on the block! (I hope they give me a nice name)

Driving Right?

And then I landed in France, rented a car and drove on the "wrong" side of the road and it was fun!!

See!! This is what happens when you stop blogging for months together and then when you attempt to write a post, you wont even last for 140 characters. (those using twitter will understand better. for others, click here)

Now that you have a general idea what this blog is going to be about, let me take you back on how it all happened.

So I am in the middle of February this year, making elaborate plans for my birthday, which involves expecting gifts from my family and then taking them out for dinner (depending on the gifts i get...). There comes a news from my office that I may have to go to Italy for a meeting at FIAT, Turin. I was already under tremendous stress planning my birthday, and now I had to chalk out an itinerary for my upcoming trip to Italy too. After much speculation, I succeeded in making the itinerary, which looked something like this, "Fly to Turin, Italy on 28th Feb - Spend 4 days - Fly back to Delhi".

When everything is set, life has a strange way of leaving you puzzled. My French colleague who was supposed to meet me in Turin, Italy met with an accident instead. And in the process, broke his arm and came up with a brilliant plan. The plan involved making my itinerary go haywire and making me go on a driving frenzy for a week. But I was not complaining as I was getting to drive in Europe for the first time.

Didn't I speak about the connection between life and puzzles earlier? So there, again! Now I had to cram in the process of making an international driving license too. Dealing with Indian Government Authorities is a cakewalk as long as you are able to pull a few strings. Pull a few string and shell out a few bucks, I did. And I got an International Driving Permit made in 15 minutes flat.

And then I landed in Strasbourg, France where my heavily bandaged friend came to receive me and handed me the car keys. I felt like a Bollywood hero who came back after successfully completing his studies abroad and his dad came to receive him with a swanky new gift. By the way, no offence meant to my friend, he isn't as old as my dad.

Driving on the right side of the road was not much of a task as it is something that traffic in Noida often forces you to do and the upside was - no incoming traffic. But the flip-side were the laws which had to be followed. It is such a hard thing to do for us Indians, isn't it? Oh yes and honking was a big No-No. We Indians think that the Horn being right in front of our eyes is reason enough to press it even when we encounter a speed-breaker.

Well, a few initially hiccups later I was a pro and the 600-odd KM drive from Strasbourg to Turin via the beautiful landscapes of Switzerland was a dream. Here I definitely felt like a hero from Yash Raj films but what I was sorely missing was my Heroine, my wife.

All the fun and the beautiful vistas aside, the biggest take-back for me has been the civic sense shown by the people back in Europe. The dedication with which they follow the rules, come-what-may, is commendable. Correcting a society starts from correcting yourself, and since my return I have pledged to do my bit and not break any traffic rule as long as possible. (considering my trysts with Delhi Police, I shouldn't be breaking any rules anyway).  

Lost and Found

The terms Find, Search, Look-For etc are primarily associated with search engines these days, google to be more specific. But Google isnt the place to look for stuff you lose. Wouldnt it be cool to have a search engine where you can look for the stuff you misplaced?

My wife loved the new entrant in her life so much that at times I felt jealous. Months passed, her love affair continued and bond between the two strengthened. Meanwhile, after many failed attempts of winning back my wife I had conceded my position to the new member. But alas, destiny had other plans. On a fateful wintery day of November, something terrible happened that left a deep void in her life. She was running errands and "it" dropped off from her jacket pocket without her knowing. Yes "her precious", the snazzy mobile which she bought a couple of months ago, was gone forever. It was a sad end to our love triangle. 

The next stop for us was Gumshuda Talaash Kendra, Nayi Kotwali, Daryaganj. Which reminded me of the Doordarshan notice in which a female, who herself looking lost, gave the description of the people in such a way that no one would want to look for them. (Kad - 5 foot 6 inch, Chehra - Gol, Rang - Saanwla etc etc). Everytime the description was the same, as if the guy got lost over and over again or was never found. Hang on, we had lost a "thing" and not a "person".

So a little searching on the web told us that the third best chance of getting back the lost mobile is  to lodge an FIR at the police station. Of course, the second best would be when the person who finds it calls you back (yes, it is more probable than cops finding it) and the best chance of getting back the lost mobile would be not losing it at all. My wife being the eternal optimist decided to go to the cops. Any sane individual would term this act as blatantly stupid but it's always worth giving a shot. The conversation went this way:

My wife: I lost my mobile phone yesterday. How do I get it back?

Cop: naya phone lelo!! (With an expression that had "case solved" written all over it). 

A little more of prodding and pushing resulted in the cops relenting and letting us know there is something called "noida cyber crime cell". A visit to this "office" left us pleasantly shocked (!) as it was an un-police station. There was a young-ish cop with a laptop, solving cases online. He was genuinely interested in solving our case and he asked all the details, the most important of which was the IMEI number. Armed with an FIR copy we left that place, feeling a little hopeful even when we knew that the probability of find a lost mobile phone is like finding a gumshuda Chinese guy!!! (for those who didnt get it, all chinese look the same - no offence meant to my oriental friends).

 

Lot of days passed without any news from the so called cyber crime cell. But we kept tabs on the status by frequent calls to the cops. My wife's distraught mood was as if someone had gone through a terrible break-up. She refused to use or like any other phone which was not "Samsung Galaxy S Plus". And then one fine sunday afternoon, i received a call from the cop, he said nonchalantly "aapka phone gum hua tha na, mil gaya hai aake le jao". My happiness knew no bounds. When I broke the news to my wife, she thought I was kidding. A frenzied jumping session, a quick dash to the market to get a box of Ferrero Rochers, and a mad drive to the cyber crime cell later we had in our hands our mobile phone in perfect working condition. To our surprise the cops didnt "ask" (or demand) for anything and refused to accept chocolates too. Hats off to those guys!!

 

So that my friends was how we lost and found our mobile. There have been a few other losts and founds too since the last time i blogged, the list goes like this:

 

-  I lost myself in mundane life and found the will to blog again

-  I lost my bachelorhood and found married life. (which is a bliss)

-  I lost all hatred and found respect for Noida cops (at least the cyber crime ones)

-  And finally, I didnt lose anything but I found my best friend in my wife :)

 

She is "The One"

I knew she was out there somewhere
But where, I had no clue.
Tried to find her in every girl I met,
but "he" made someone like her too far and too few.

Parents arranging my meeting with her was a little awkward,
But subsequent meetings were something to which I was really looking forward.
What followed each day was talking to her for hours on phone
As I got to know her better, I found she was someone I had always known

Then came a day when we got engaged,
It didn't matter if it was love or arranged
for I knew that she was "the one" with whom I'll spend the rest of my life,
The girl whom I would soon call my wife.

Excitement is hard to contain, as I imagine my future with her,
Each minute, hour and day will be something I never experienced before,
The beautiful company that I will have, is more than what I ever asked for,
I hope I fit the bill and be her "sapnon ka rajkumar" :P

Word by word as we write our book,
Brick by brick as we build our house,
Step by step as we start our walk,
Stroke by stroke as we paint the canvass,
Breath by breath as we live our life,
May our bond become stronger and life will be an adventure as we base it on this strange emotion called "love"

PS: 16 hours is a long time to spend on a train,
I look at it as more of a loss than gain,
I didn't want this time to go in vain.
So I try to give words to my feelings, by taxing my brain.

PPS: As I post this on her Birthday (with her next to me), here's wishing her the most wonderful birthday ever. And I promise to make her feel on each day of her life as special as she feels on her birthday.

Marriage - Is a Relative Term

What kind of a girl are you looking for to settle down in life??

I usually wake up in the morning to sounds/questions like, "Kartik, wake up!! Its 7 AM!!" or "Kartik, don't you have to go to office today??" and sometimes to, "How come you are up so early?? Its only 12 O'clock". But definitely not to the question mentioned at the start of this post.

As soon as I am out of bed, I prefer to brush my teeth first and then talk. Keep asking me a hundred questions and I will just nod. I simply don't like to talk without brushing my teeth. Recently in Bangalore, when I was asked this question by a distant relative of mine, the first response that came to my head was, "Umm.. Maybe someone who brushes her teeth in the morning!!" But I resorted to a smile, because it makes other people wonder what you are thinking.

You cross 25 and all hell breaks loose in the family (extended family to be precise). All the relatives start behaving as if they were born to fulfill their ONLY (cant stress this word enough) purpose in life, which is getting you married off. Suddenly, even before you know that a particular person is somehow related to you, he has a marriage proposal lined up for you. The relative of mine who raised the above question was my mother's mother's cousin's husband's brother.. phew!!! (or something like that).

In a large family gathering, knowing that I had crossed 25 a good three years ago, caused a mini panic. There was a frenzy as if people had some deadline to meet and now they have three years of work piled up. I don't know why Indians are so obsessed with marriages. It is fun to attend a function where all the relatives have gathered to celebrate but imagine the state of the guy at whose expense all this occurs. On second thought, if the population of this country is any hint to go by, I now see the obsession with marriage ;)

Well, happiest people are those who are happy doing what they want to do. So its in best interest of everyone to not meddle with anyone's business. It is ultimately my decision to choose the person I want to get married to (provided that person chooses me too :P) and I just let all the weird stuff happen around me and enjoy while it lasts.

Not that I am getting married anytime soon, actually I don't even know whom I'll end up with. But I am sure everyone has to go through these weird times once in their life. Like I said, Enjoy while it lasts!!

Frustrations of a Daily Commuter

Long long time ago man invented the wheel and there was a revolution (Pun Unintended). On second thought, I always wonder why is it called inventing the wheel and not discovering the wheel? I mean come on, circular objects would've existed since long and making them roll was just common sense.

Man's desire to go from Place A to Place B in less time and with minimal effort prompted him in putting a few wheels together. Like someone said, "The guy who invented the wheel was an idiot but the guy who invented the other three was a genius." Though some would beg to differ, so let me add here that the guy who put 2 wheels together was God :D


Well, my own set of wheels took some time coming. Until then I had to rely on the set of wheels dedicated for picking up and dropping school children (until I was in school) and those marked for public, a.k.a, public transport.

Travelling in school bus was fun as you know who your fellow travellers are (and they are the same everyday), you know how long will the journey take and where the bus will stop and how many people will get in or get off. My school bus used to pick up and drop kids to 3 different schools, so all the seats used to be occupied. Now picture a city bus (the red lines and blue lines), multiply the number of people by 5, all of them wrestling with you for space. So much so, that at all times u have to keep your lungs filled with air, you breathe out and it creates enough space in the bus for 2 more people to get in. I had to endure this for close to 4 years of my life which I spent studying engineering (60 KMs every day). Once there were so many people around me that neither my hands were holding anything nor my feet were on the floor, i was being supported by people pressing against me. Let me assure you, it was not a pleasant feeling at all. I still have nightmares about "that" day.

I was lucky to land a job very close to my home. So close, that I used to go home for lunch during the 1 hour lunch break. My 1987 model Bajaj Chetak took me to work. And every single day the parking lot security guard used to ask me "This old scooter doesn't look good on you. Why don't you buy a bike?" I thought maybe this guy is interested in buying my scooter, that is why he is after my life. One day about 8 months later, I decided to buy a Bajaj Pulsar and asked this guy, "I am gonna get a new bike tomorrow, do u wanna buy my scooter?" and nonchalantly he replied "Arre nahi, Kabaadi ko bech do" (sell it to a junk dealer). This was a WTF moment for sure!!!

I was lucky enough to enjoy the 3KM work-home distance for a good 3 years. Then I got a job in Bangalore and everyone knows that the distance is not measured in Kilometers there, it is measured in terms of time. The scaling is something like 6KMs equals a little more than an hours time on the road. So the less said the better.

Regular readers of this blog must be aware of my frustration regarding my travel to Gurgaon from Noida about 2 year ago. There used to be hell-a-lot of traffic and to make matters interesting, all the flyovers in that route were being constructed. And once they were done and before I could drive on them my company moved to Faridabad.

En route Faridabad there comes a crossing which is like a BLACK HOLE for automobiles. It seems that during the peak hours all the cars and the buses in the world want to come and get stuck in that Jam. Its like Mecca of traffic jams. And as always, the responsibility of supervising the construction of a huge flyover was bestowed upon me. Man, standing at 1 place for 3 to 4 hours at a stretch was a norm. And you know whats funny now?? My company is moving back to Gurgaon. I guess they want me to take some new road construction project. I can officially call myself the Supervisor of Construction of Flyovers!!!

I don't know how many years I have spent on the road. Sometime being stuck in the jam made me feel that I have aged a few years. But I have learnt to take all this in my stride and I look at it like something that can be looked back on and can be laughed upon.

All said and done, I have something to add here : GOD!! I can give an arm and a leg for Working From Home!!! Is anyone listening???

Tareekh Pe Tareekh

For the last 2 months I have been driving around with a sheet of paper in my wallet which somewhat resembles the "American Declaration of Independence" that Nicholas Cage steals in National Treasure. Thanks to the multiple folds and exposure to moisture, I am afraid that this sheet will unfold only once now. Well, this sheet is my make-shift driving license from the time cops (oh yes, I am their favourite child) took my "actual" license away. My offence, you may ask, was that my PUC Cetrificate had expired. (Of course, my vehicles'. Good Lord, human beings dont have to have a Pollution under Control certificate... well, lets not get into it)

17th July was the day when I had to appear in court for my hearing. Being exposed to a plethora of court scenes since childhood (In Movies, where else??) I was expecting it to be "Objection My Lord vs Objection Over-Ruled/ Objection Sustained" kind of a situation but to my disappointment it wasn't to be. Like a VIP is welcomed by hordes of people when he arrives at a function, I too was welcomed by a few people but only thing missing was the red carpet. As I parked the car, the parking wala was like "license lene aaye ho? 1000 Rs dedo, hum nikalwa denge" next was the security, "Judge sahab aaj chutti pe hai, bas 2000 mein aapka kaam kar denge". Without paying much heed to whatever they had to say I moved on towards the courtroom.

The "courtroom" was just a small shack kind of a thing having a couple of tables with tea marks over them, a few cup-boards falling over each other, an empty chair where the judge sits when he is present, another table where the reader sat and tonnes of files and papers strewn here and there. I was sure that even the furniture must've learnt a trick or two in taking a bribe.

There was a lawyer, with the sarkari-est look. One look at him and you would know that he could sleepwalk to SAB TV studio and grab a role in Office-Office without an audition. He saw me and he would've thought in his mind "mil gaya bakra". Only question I asked him was, "is the judge going to come today?" and then had I not interrupted him after he blabbered about various charges against me for about 10 minutes, he would've definitely asked me to pay for NOT wearing a helmet while driving the car or worse, the guy sitting next to me in the car at the time of challan should've been wearing a helmet too. The funniest thing he said was, "aapka to 2000 Rs challan katega hi, aur gaadi aapke father ke naam pe hai to unka bhi 2000 Rs ka challan katega. Nikaliye 4000 Rupaye". What the @#$%!!!

After giving up on the court, while I was walking towards my car, the security guard was like "kaam nahi hua na?? achcha chalo 1500 mein aapka kaam kar denge" and the parking wala "bataya tha na sahab, chaliye 800 de dijiye". God help those who get caught in this web.


So, a couple of phone calls later I decided to get the Declaration of Independence stamped by the reader in the court for the next date, which is still a month away. And the poor Challan sheet gets to stay in my wallet for a few more days. And I am pretty darn sure that on 20th August the Judge will have a hard time in putting all the pieces of the challan together. That'll be my way of getting back at the system and to rub it in, I will ask him if he has a cello tape handy... ;)

PS: And if I dont get my license on that day too, this is what I am gonna say (Note: to be imagined in Sunny Deol's Voice)

Tareekh pe Tareekh, Tareekh pe Tareekh, Tareekh pe Tareekh, Tareekh pe Tareekh....Judge sahab agli baar na to license milega aur na hi license lene wala. Bas reh jayegi to sirf Tareekh.